Spiritual snakes and Ladders

Poetic rambling by Ruby

18th October 2025

Proud of the version I’ve become,

From where I was a decade ago to how far I’ve come.

Hundreds of books read and reread,

And twenty more waiting beside my bed.

The more I read, everything started to made sense

Was brimming with confidence and spirituality immense.

Like a portal opened inside my brain,

An Angelic white golden light began to rain.

Then came a text from a bully,

And my anger started to rise slowly.

Felt all my Zen was sucked out,

Wondered where this fury came about.

I had assumed I’d let it all go long ago,

But seems I’m still a little shallow.

I blamed the bully for doing this to me,

But truth is, when squeezed, only what’s inside can break free

It was the anger tucked within that came rushing with glee

This realization bit me like a snake

Felt like I’d slid right back to square one in this snakes

and ladders game.

I knew I had to let go of the rage in me,

And set my mind finally free.

I applied the forgiveness tools I knew,

And the next ladder appeared right on cue.

Felt light again, flying high.

Until I met an unkind guy.

The harsh words he threw made me cry,

Draining my self love completely dry.

“Why, Universe, why?” I cried in pain,

I’d slid down a ladder again.

“Use kind words for self,” said this book,

The whole idea had me hooked.

Though it’s the hardest thing to do,

Slowly I moved on, without much ado.

The ladders began to appear again,

And I started to feel a little less insane.

Then I saw a post on animal cruelty

My inner rage screamed, “This justice system is faulty!”

“I would never do this,” I raged again

“Hello, that’s your ego,” my inner voice complained

“All you did was judge someone,

To feel like you’re the only righteous one.”

Should I have gone past this? I asked,

And the answer came: “Judging is an unproductive task.”

“You didn’t do anything to change the situation,” said my inner voice,

“It wasn’t judgment, it was empathy “ I made a protesting noise

But I realized my emotion didn’t change a thing

Apart from showing me the rocky spiritual grounding.

Bit by the snake once more, I sighed,

Got to work on myself and climb back in stride.

.

And then came the genocides

And most of my mind space it occupied

I couldn’t handle the extent of cruelty,

Even though I wasn’t living it in reality.

Public figures showed their affiliations,

And I felt resentment for some of their declarations.

Is this judgment too? I wondered.

Why am I reacting to people I will never encounter?

No clear answer came my way

“Hurt people hurt people,” they say.

So I sent healing to all sides anyway.

It eased my pain a little, I agree

Though judgment still lingers, I confess sulkily.

This probably set my path a bit further down

But I’ll find my answers as I continue to mourn.

Overall, I struggle with this balancing act

Why bother if life’s realities are already stacked?

Should I show empathy to those who hurt,

Or hold my boundaries firm and curt?

How do I differentiate empathy from judgment?

Does calling cruelty “part of life” make me less human?

“Focus on your own choices,” said my wise dog

That the only advice that helped clear some fog.

Books alone can’t set me free

I’ll be playing spiritual snakes and ladders for eternity

Trying to embrace these snakes as friends,

Who reveal how deep my healing extends.

Yet my momentary hate for them remains,

Until self work makes the ladders rise again.

I’m not seeking answers here

Just thinking aloud to make my mind clear.