Welcome back to the Pause with Paws series
This picture is a true depiction of how I felt after Rusty dropped his body and what he communicated to an Animal Communicator much later on. If I say, I was coming from a place of Ego , you may think it is false. But read further and it would make sense . Well , I sincerely hope it does :-)
I feel parenthood (human kids or pets) has become complicated and subject to intense judgement these days . It seemed relatively effortless and stress free the time my parents did it , in my opinion. One of the main reasons for this is that we seek approval /validation from our peers which was not the case with my parents generation , again, in my opinion. Whether we do this consciously or not , it is present in most of us at different grades.
In today's world , we are answerable to everyone about why we do what we do and this includes our pet parenting decisions as well. It is like an intellectual minefield out there and everyone throws a data/research at your face to show how their view is the absolute truth . And there will be another research to show how a route that is polar opposite to this is way better . Everyone has their own gospel to nutrition , training , behavior , vaccination, neuter/spay etc . You immediately get slotted into this bad parent box when you do not comply with the popular opinion or a recent fad . Sometimes, we are scared about being slotted and other times, we are the ones slotting.
But is there truly one right approach to anything ?
Eckhart Tolle says " Ego is a false sense of self based on a mental concept . It is always trying to position itself somewhere " - "Am I a good pet parent?" , " Do I know better than my friend about what diet suits tortoises the best ?" , " Am I buying the best cat litter ?" . Even if the answer /answers to these questions slots you as a bad pet parent in your own mind , this is still your ego talking. These thoughts keep coming and there is nothing wrong with thoughts per se .But we should stop identifying with them and that is the way to kill your Ego. You aren't bad or good just because your thoughts say so .
This week ,our focus is just on the part where we think we arent doing enough as a pet parent .We are consciously not going to focus on the part where we are judging someone else to be an inferior pet parent, compared to us . That's because , once we stop judging ourselves, we automatically stop judging others .
Gabby Bernstein, the author of " The Judgement Detox", says whatever we resent or dislike in another person is a reflection of something we dislike in ourselves or a representation of a deep wound we're unwilling to heal . Extending this logic , once we cut ourselves some slack over pet parenthood decisions , we will extend the benefit of doubt to other pet parents as well .
Example, as mentioned at the beginning, the picture here is a depiction of what I went through with Rusty's passing and what he conveyed to an Animal Communicator later on. While I was killing myself with these questions , I was judging myself real hard . And I also judged every single person I knew who had to put their pet to sleep ( Not my proudest moment and I forgive myself for that ). My judgement came from the place where I was truly hurt by all these thoughts that were running through my mind . And I was lashing out mentally on these unsuspecting souls . They were doing their best for their pets in their own way .They obviously had a different contract with their pets than what we have/ had with ours. Once I worked on myself and accepted that I did whatever I thought was the best at that point in time and what I could afford in terms of time or money , I felt so much lighter . Today , I truly believe that everyone does their best with their pets . I am glad that I did that work on myself because you can't help an animal without being empathetic to their caregivers . Sometimes their decisions may not be in line with my way of thinking and that is perfectly fine .Because there is no one perfect way to do anything and there is no guarantee that my way is the best way.
Our exercise this week is this affirmation " I truly believe that , to the best of my knowledge and the resources available to me at this point in time , I am giving my pets the best care possible "
Tip : If I ever have a helpless moment with regard to my pet or someone else's , I recall Dr.Hawkin's research findings ( Yes ! Here is another research ;-))
" One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of optimism and a willingness to be non judgemental of others will counterbalance the negativity of 90000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening levels "
So all you have to do to help fellow beings is to stay positive and non judgemental - it is that simple!
Try this and I assure that you will feel liberated !